I think about this state of being allot. When I drank, I obsessed, thinking about drinking for too much of my day. That's part of why I quit.  I think about life.  I think about dying. I don't think about what could have been. I feel ok about my past. I feel right about my future. But the end bothers me. I didn't like knowing that it'll be over. And it's not like I don't feel like I have enough time. I have just the right amount of time. My life is good right now. I really enjoy life. Fun and love. I have plenty. For some years, up until recently, I didn't want to exist. I didn't want to die, because that would cause those who love me to ache in pain. I just didn't want to exist. I wanted it to ask go away. I had taken some comfort knowing it was around half way through, and since I made it this far, I figured I could finish, without offing myself. Now that I am really kinda liking life, non-existence kinda bothers me, and I do not like adopting some fairy-tale fantasy of existence after death to sooth the trouble.  This brings me to my current state, I am becoming more open about my reality and what I really think. '
Every day
What the hey. 
Find something to know. Someone to be. Stare at the trees. Be weird. Party on Garth